Making Sense of Emotional Pain

Pain is something that most of us want to avoid especially if it is an emotional pain. Some people would rather choose to be physically pained rather than experience emotional pain. This is maybe because physical wound heals faster than the emotional one. But have you ever tried to ask yourself why God allows you to go through such emotional pain? If you did, have you received an answer? When and how?

I am fully convinced that everything that comes along our journey in this life is essential for our living. In the functionalist view, anything that exists serves certain purpose. Even how unsatisfactory, unpleasant, or unwanted it is, it still has a purpose to fulfill. All we need to do is to wait, as life itself will reveal the purpose of pain in its own time. Therefore, though pain is so unpleasant to live with, it is still an inevitable ingredient in the process of maturity. Let us philosophize the purpose of the existence of emotional pain.

1. Emotional pain reminds that we are human.

As humans, we feel so vulnerable. An individual who is in pain tends to look for someone who is much stronger than he/she is at that moment. He/she tends to desire for someone’s comfort, support, and warm acceptance. In many cases, people become closer to the Creator when experiencing pain.

2. Emotional pain surfaces our true self.

People who are in pain tend to have lost their control over their own self which gives way for the natural self to surface. The barricaded undesirable self finds its way out of the conscious reality. Constant neglect of this ‘true self’ aggravates the experience of pain. However, acceptance of it leads to a real and deep healing of pain.

3. Emotional pain strikes our limitation.

This is very essential in our growth as an individual. When pain strikes, we are confronted by our own limitations. The knowledge of our present limitations gauges our future growth. We can only say that we grow if we know that the things we hardly dealt in the past are easily handled in the present.

emotional pain
A woman in pain.

4. Emotional pain prepares us for a more painful event in the future.

The emotional pain that we are experiencing at the moment might be essential for us to overcome a much painful event in the near future. It might have a crescendo effect and the only way to succeed is to become used to it.

 5. Emotional pain makes us realize that we cannot control everything.

Many people nowadays are control freaks. We tend to control not just other people but our own self as well. There is no problem about self – control but too much self–restriction and self–reservation is too limiting thus affects our interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships. As a result, the assumption of not being affected by anything or anyone in our surroundings arises.

But reality screams that it can never be true. We tend to react to the forces (inside and out) that press us upside down. When we come to our senses, we will realize that we experience the pain because reality slaps us that we cannot control either of the two. All we can do is to stop struggling, acknowledge the reality, and learn to let go. Start collecting the broken pieces and focus on what we can do on the situation at hand.

With all the above-mentioned benefits of pain, we may learn to value every emotional pain that we experience.  We also have to realize that there is a need for us to learn the value of acceptance in order for us to sculpt the ability to enjoy life amidst pain.